Thursday, August 16, 2007

Them's Fightin' Words!

I've put up with a lot of crap since becoming a homeowner, but I don't think I've ever been directly insulted before. That changed yesterday. If I were to try to come up with the optimal, most derogatory insult per syllable, I don't think I could do much better than this:

Are they serious? "Utah driver"! What cruel joke is this?! Suffice to say, I won't be signing up for this particular brand of auto insurance. Not that I'd have considered it anyway, I suppose.

Next up:
  • Junk mail from cosmetics companies addressed to "Fugly Resident"
  • Church newsletters to "Hell-bound Soul"
  • Discount store catalogs to "Dirt-poor Pauper"
  • GED pamphlets addressed simply to "Dumbass"
  • Cologne and perfume ads to "B.O. McSmelly or current occupant"
I suppose it is possible that most people around here wouldn't take so much offense to being called a "Utah driver". ...But after further reflection, I just don't see how that could be so.